You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
