Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
This is my gift to your gina
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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