Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Randomize
