i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
