I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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