This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
