I skipped work to stalk him.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
