I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I booty called her while she was in labor.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
This can only be settled by a dance off.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
