Hey man sorry I got all grabby
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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