so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
