So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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