yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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