i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
