Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
