What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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