I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I would fuck him just for his dog
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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