Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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