Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
