You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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