we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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