Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
