dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
