I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
