Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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