I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
