Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
