i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
