I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
