Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
