How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
