I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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