I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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