hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
