i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
