More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
