Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
