i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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