True but thats because hes a fetus.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
