shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Randomize
