bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
