you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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