It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
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