You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Randomize
