They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
