Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
is it fun? or sober?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
