if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
