living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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