I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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