wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
