I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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