whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
We had sex on a dog bed..
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
